Help with Relationships
Relationships can be challenging
Each person has their own unique needs and ideals for a relationship; communication is key – but what if it’s already been years? How do you rewrite the rules of your relationship?
This happens so often. People meet, fall in love, have children, and get swept up with life and never really get to those crucial discussions.
Let’s change that right now and get your relationship on a better path. It helps to have that one hour a week to talk about what’s working and what isn’t. We can explore how your childhood relationships continue to affect you as well as some concrete and measurable steps to take right now.
It’s not all bad, I promise!
Coming to counseling does not mean you are headed for divorce or there is something wrong with you or the relationship. It is actually a sign of great strength and perseverance to know when to get a little bit of help before things get really bad.
Ask yourself this question: If you continue exactly as you are now, what will your relationship look like a year from now? Five years from now? Will you make it to old age together if you change nothing?
People often worry that talking about their problems every week will make things worse. In my experience, it does the opposite. Sometimes relationships need full on repair where others need a tune up. It’s far better to come for the tune up then wait for something to break and need a repair!
In working with me couples are able to set aside grievances until they come to counseling and focus on positive things during your time together. Arguments will immediately decrease at home because you will save them for me! Even in session, we will try to focus on ways to improve the relationship rather than dwelling on mistakes. We will look at issues logically and rationally and always with a solution focused mindset.
Homework for couples
In couples counseling, I do generally give homework. If there have been infidelities, there are specific books that I recommend (After the Affair is a personal favorite). For all couples, I recommend taking the five love languages quiz, as it can provide so much insight into your relationship as well as ideas on where to focus positive energy.
Other homework includes scheduling a date night, practicing speaking your partner’s love language, trying out new parenting tools so there is less conflict around family time, and having more check-ins with your partner.
We work though some heavy stuff, and it’s so important to be able to enjoy each other and have it just be easy and fun at times. It’s also important to remember why you fell in love and reassess values to ensure they are in line with each other and that you are living according to them and not someone else’s (hint: parents or society!).
A Special note on billing Insurance for couples/families
Many insurance plans do not cover couples’ sessions, and all are particular in how they will cover it so I follow their formula. I only bill insurance for couples’ sessions where I am seeing one of the adults as an individual and it is considered part of that therapeutic intervention and treatment plan.
If you are already seeing me for individual counseling and would like to bring a spouse or significant other in (or child or other person significant in your life) we can discuss what this would look like and how you would be charged for this.
o I require 3 individual sessions before we bring in another person so that I may get a full evaluation of the situation.
o No current/active domestic violence (this includes emotional and financial abuse)
If you would like to see me for couples only, I charge $200 per session and do not bill insurance
I require the following to see couples
- Active release of information on file*
- No current or active domestic violence or abuse of any kind
- All paperwork filled out before intake including various personality assessment measures*
*If information is not provided 24 hours prior to appointment the appointment may be cancelled.
Request an appointment here: