The downward spiral of depression. I think about this as “going down the rabbit hole” like in Alice in Wonderland. Not usually chasing something like the white rabbit, but a little rock that you trip over and suddenly you are falling.
Something small like making a mistake at work. The thoughts go like this: I can’t believe I did that. I’m so stupid. I’ll never make manager. Why did I ever think I was smart enough to move up in this company? Why did I ever think I was good enough to be management in any company? What’s the point? I’m useless.
Can you imagine falling in that hole? Maybe you have hit the bottom, maybe it’s a continuous fall, maybe more like suspended animation. This is normal and happens to a lot of us, but, more importantly, it CAN be stopped.
The trick is to spot the rock and hop or step over it, thus avoiding the hole altogether. Did I lose you?
The rock is that first negative thought. Or the second. Or the third, really. The point is you have a choice to stop, take a breath, and look at the path ahead rather than tripping and falling.
You can follow this link to a worksheet to counter negative thoughts. Always start by asking yourself: What else could it be? Examples: I messed up at work! OR I made a mistake, I’m human. Write the counter statement, but then really sit with it. What if that were true? How would that change things? THAT is the other path.
Let’s look at another analogy using imagery with anxiety or worry, and it’s the same spinning of thoughts. Instead of tripping and falling, we are thinking of a tunnel, a long dark tunnel. You can’t find your way out.
Searching for the exit, each time you’re sure that you’ve found it – but each time you find walls instead.
The thoughts go something like this: I can’t believe this is happening again! What am I doing wrong? What is wrong with me? Other people don’t seem to have this trouble. Maybe if I just (usually some form of try harder, try something different, listen to someone). Oh, it’s no use, I’m such a loser. I’ll never be happy.
Sound familiar? I kinda twisted this one into a depression at the end, but sometimes that happens, the worry becomes so overwhelming that the only thing to do is admit defeat and give up. This is the back of the tunnel.
Before you went into the tunnel, there was a fork in the road; it happened quickly, but it was there. The trick is to spot the fork/road sign and stop yourself from going into the tunnel.
Road signs can be anything from missing a deadline to a loved one asking why you aren’t married yet. They are very individual and unique, so only you will know yours; but I bet you do.
It really does help to write this out and see it in black and white. This is the Witness is OWN (Observe, Witness, Narrate) the distance and separation needed to really be objective. When you can see your thoughts with this much clarity, you will be able to spot the fork/road sign and change paths.
We can turn our everyday ordinary moments into happy moments simply by choosing to do so. Then when life takes a turn, as it does, we can spot the signs, avoid the tunnel, and choose happy instead.
We will still trip and fall sometimes, and down the rabbit hole we go. Fear makes us fall, love will help us out and allow us to look up and see the blue sky and the love that truly is all around us. And let us always have gratitude for the wondrous beings that we are.
We have the power to create our reality. We are not, nor have we ever been, the product of our past. Every second we are alive and with every breath we take we can choose love over fear, kindness over spite, peace over battle.
The light in me honors the light in you. Namaste.
